May 1999, I was finishing up my semester (what turned out to be my career) at Lee University. This wasn't the normal end of the semester that I had finished before, this semester was different, I had the opportunity of a lifetime. I sang in a choir at Lee, Campus Choir, I still have incredible memories of that semester with my friends in Campus, friendships that I still hold very dear (even though I never actually see any of those folks... thank you Jesus for facebook).
As I said, this wasn't your "run of the mill" semester ending... the choir was headed to Israel. That's right, Jesusland, the land of milk and honey ... a land torn by war, terrorism and impending genocide (if the Palestinians had their way). I could not wait to get there, I knew that it was going to be a life changing trip.
I can still remember (even have a picture of it) putting my suitcase in the back of my '97 Chevy Blazer, getting in the driver's seat and pulling out of my parents driveway ... I was on my way!!
72 hours later, the plane landed in Tel Aviv, Israel. Some of my friends faces are still pictured in my memory. Travel weary, sleepy, feeling greasy, and excited; I can still see Rodney, Cara, Jeremy Richardson's (why those random people, I don't know) facial expressions as we waited to get off that smelly plane. ~~being on a plane for 10 hours headed to the middle east has a distinct aroma~~
The one memory that is most burned into my memory, the one memory that still brings back the same emotion I felt at that single moment, still comes back to me from time to time. Culture Shock!!! Now, I'm not sure exactly what caused it: Was it being on a hwy in one of the most congested cities in the world? Was it the fact that nothing in the city resembled home? Was if due to the fact that I had been on a plane all night long with little to no sleep?
Regardless the reason, in that moment I had this horrible feeling: I don't belong here! If I could have gotten back on that plane and headed home, I would have, no questions asked. Nobody warned this 21 year old kid that he might have that feeling... it was totally unexpected. After a few hours, I was fine, and that trip changed me ... emotional, spiritually. I grew up a bit on that trip.
More than 10 years later, I find myself with that same kind of feeling. Let me explain...
God has given me a mandate ... words that say with great humility and holy fear of a Holy God. He's been speaking to me for a couple of years now, whispering little tid bits in my ear ... "I'm about to send you out". Which for me is the most exciting, yet fear crippling statement. But, for some reason, at the beginning of this year, His whisperings have become direct firm mandates. GO!
I have no idea where I will end up, for the first time in my life I feel as if I have been thrust into the middle of the new testament, to live a life as the apostles did. The only thing that I do know is this....
At some point this year I will find myself in a foreign field. I know that God has told me to leave the U.S. this year to serve. There are a couple of destinations that have been placed on my heart, I have no idea why: India, Guatemala (Central America to be more precise). I'm sure God will provide the itinerary.
I think the reason I have this "culture shock" kind of feeling is because I feel as if my life is going to be turned upside down. In American society (and sadly, especially in the church) when you say to people that you are no longer concerned with the temporal things of this earth, they look at you as if you have, via Wayne's World, monkeys flying out of your butt. It's crazy talk to them when I say, "I might sell my house and rent a place in order to free up my life". Free my life from debt, mortgage, complacency, having an excuse not to go. It's crazy talk to say that I want to save money, instead of investing in my economic stability (retirement), to invest in eternal things.
I'm using this blog as a kind of accountability for myself ... I need to profess that God is sending me.
So there you have it .... it's done .... I'm going somewhere to serve this year, 2010. Whether for 6 days or 4 weeks, I will go ...
I can't help but think, as I write this, that someone reading this post has the same fire in their belly. But you may feel helpless: what to do ... where to go? Let me say, you are not alone.
... watch this video ... it's on my brain today ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzNSaxZqw24
Thursday, February 4, 2010
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